The Academy drinks the grape Kool-Aid

A heartbreaking tale of teen obesity

So the Academy Awards have been announced, and somehow Juno managed to get nominated for best picture, screenplay, director and actress. Perhaps the one condolence we can get out of this is that Michael Cera wasn't nominated for playing George Michael Bluth AGAIN. I'm hoping that come awards night, Diablo Cody will get a head injury and - in a twist right out of the Lindsey Lohan classic I Know Who Killed Me - revert to her stripper past and end up shaking her ass onstage while Jack Nicholson shoves dollar bills into her G-String. That would at least provide some small degree of entertainment, as opposed to the braindead script she wrote.

Still, the fact that anybody could be dumb enough to nominate this disgusting hipster wankstain of a movie for anything other than a Razzie is disappointing enough. At least this has motivated me to finally put together a comprehensive list of my thoughts on why Juno is unquestionably the worst movie of 2007. Yes, worse than Norbit. At least Norbit openly acknowledged that it was made for prepubescents and retards. Be on the lookout for it in the next few days.