Before There Was Gossip Girl...

There was Footballers' Wives. They're obviously not at all similar to each other, mostly because Footballers' Wives is so hardcore awesome. Don't take my word for it, check out this clip:

For something a with a bit more context; but with spoilers of the entire third season of this series, check out this clip


If the above clip does not work, here's the link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=WXV2u6pXA_g

TOKEN!!!!!

When it comes back in less than 2 weeks, Gossip Girl will officially be without one of its most important characters. That's right, Token A has left the show. In my very first review of the show, I picked Token A and Token B (A for Asian, B for black) as the ones to watch. They have more than lived up to my expectations. Each week they have proudly stood next to (yet 2 steps behind) all the big characters during all the most important scenes. Let us relive Token A's greatest moments on the show.











Here's Kongye's original review of Gossip Girl. Michael K. totally stole my idea!
LINK

Countdown to Gossip Girl (Reprise):

Come On GG, Just Let Nate and Cumface be Together Already

I came across this fantastic post this morning and I just had to share.

http://www.towleroad.com/2008/03/gossip-girl-abo.html

To be honest, I could pretty much see any combination of 2 Gossip Girl guys finally getting together. The homoerotic tension on that show is insane.

On a somewhat related note, there's been a certain theme to Kongye's posts lately. Perhaps it's the new job, the fact that several of Kongye's dancer friends are back from tour, or maybe just pure coincidence. To clarify: The Blog does not condone negative stereotypes of any kind. The Blog is a safe space of love and understanding...unless you're Diablo Cody, a consestant on a VH1 reality dating show, a born-again Christian, fat, ugly, or Alexander B. If you fit into any of those categories I suggest you stop reading this fucking blog. Then again, I can't imagine why any of those people would be here to begin with.

Easter Greetings From Kongye and Phallic

In the tradition of previous holiday-themed posts, the Blog brings you this gem to celebrate Easter:


KONGYE: Happy Easter
Phallic: oh dear praise Jesus
KONGYE: he was pretty hot
KONGYE: great abs
KONGYE: we should praise good abs
Phallic: is this white Jesus or black Jesus
KONGYE: both
KONGYE: it's not like Black Jesus is ever depicted looking like Biggie
Phallic: that would own
KONGYE: you think they crucified fat people?
KONGYE: it seems impractical
Phallic: I don't think they ever needed to crucify fat people
KONGYE: were fat people really well behaved in the day?
Phallic: they only crucified poor starving people
Phallic: I’m guessing you had to be rich to be fat in the Roman Empire
KONGYE: I bet the fat people were totally stealing food all over the place
KONGYE: you know how fat people are
KONGYE: they'll do anything for a Twinkie
KONGYE: and I bet ancient roman Twinkies were da bomb
Phallic: shit yeah
Phallic: unleavened bread and grape paste or some ish
KONGYE: that sounds tasty
KONGYE: those fat fuckers stole piles of them
KONGYE: we need to get into the bible Twinkie business
KONGYE: we'd make a ton of money at Jesus conventions
Phallic: we should sell bible Twinkies at screenings of expelled
KONGYE: expelled?
Phallic: oh man, let me link you up
Phallic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expelled:_No_Intelligence_A llowed
KONGYE: they're not gonna show that shit in NYC
KONGYE: and if they did, the entire audience would be hipsters going ironically
KONGYE: they're not Bible Twinkies' target audience
Phallic: they'll show it at the Charles Barkley Theater in Harlem
Phallic: we should get drunk and go there

Oh Dear God, WHY?!

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0850677/

P.S.: Diane is being played by Ellen Page. This is already my least favourite movie of 2010.


On a somewhat related note, if you replace "Jack" with "Alex" and "werewolf-like visions" with "crippling neuroses," I think that pretty much summarizes a chapter in the life of Kongye's and Phallic's friend.

What Kongye Does at Work

Kongye's work day is so boring, it makes her long for the good ol' days at the last job. Right about now would be the time one of her charming coworkers would casually ask her how to convince his girlfriend how to have a threesome with a dwarf and film it (actual conversation). Those were the days. Never a dull moment in the world of sports broadcasting.

Why can't one of these cast members get horrifically injured, arrested, or otherwise fucked up? I need the excitement and the current epidemic of uninteresting calamities is not going to cut it.

If you can relate, here are some Youtube gems sure to brighten up your day:

For Alex

And a blog favourite for some time now: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3zvTRQr7ns8

British Teens are So Much More Adorably Fucked Up Than American Ones

The next in the wave of obsession-worthy shows to return to the (foreign) airwaves this month is Skins- the spectacular British teen melodrama about a bunch of teens that do normal kid stuff. You know take drugs, have parties, sleep with their teachers, get forced to have sex with their sisters so that the thugs holding their sisters hostage will let them get medical treatment for an overdose of heroin that the thugs gave her. It's all very normal. This week, the kids stage a musical at their school. Also, a nerdy girl has a crush on a classmate. Having this back makes me not care at all when Gossip Girl is returning. For the record, still 4603070 seconds as of this posting.

Unfortunately this isn't broadcast in the U.S. Considering the majority of the cast was under 18 at the time of filming season 1, I don't think it has much of a chance of coming over. The only networks who would be able to show it probably wouldn't be interested. With that in mind, here's an entire episode, in 4 parts.