Wednesday Reviews

THE VIEW- I love watching The View. It makes me feel so much smarter listening to those harpies pander to America's housewives. I wouldn't normally review this show; but today was a real turning point. When Sherri Shepherd declared that she didn't know if the world was round I laughed at her; but basically gave her the benefit of the doubt. She may have been nervous then with these bitches 3 times her age were hounding her about evolution. She was probably afraid Joy would eat her. On Wednesday Sherri went from being bad under pressure to being a complete moron. They were talking about the Republican debates and Sherri chimes in, without anyone asking her to, that she couldn't tell any of the old white men apart. "Apart from the big four, I didn't know who any of them were." Listen, ho; if Barbara Walters tells your dumb ass to watch the debate and you know you're going to have to talk about it the next day, the least you can do is come up with 1 thing to say about it other than "all these white people look the same." Here's Sherri's take on a question that was answered definitely over 500 years ago:


PUSHING DAISIES- I love, love, love this show. This installment was even better than the pilot. Then again, I thought the pilot was the greatest thing I saw all summer. Then I saw it again at pilot screening week, was less impressed, and pledged my eternal allegiance to Dirty Sexy Money. I don't know if this show is only fantastic upon first viewing or if my opinion was tainted by being buzzed and needing to pee very badly the second time I saw it. I guess we'll never know. They found a way to work in Kristin Chenoweth's fantastic singing. Anna Friel gets more crushworthy every time I see her, Chi McBride is out of this world, and Lee Pace is growing on me. Pushing Daisies is now a show I will be waiting on every week. Good thing I'll be able to see it a day early.
GOSSIP GIRL- I already posted a mini-review. They need to keep the bitch-factor up here or they run the risk of me turning on them. What makes them think we want to see these characters getting along or- Godforbid- helping each other deal? You have betrayed me, Gossip Girl.
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES- Gordon Ramsay didn't make anything better. They even try to gloss over his complete failure by pretending the fact that the owner had to sell the restaurant in the end was a great thing. That he got "an offer he couldn't refuse." First of all, that line belongs in the first episode; the big Guido Sopranos ripoff pilot. Second, of course that owner couldn't refuse the offer; his restaurant was tanking and he was going broke. Oh, and I get the feeling the producers bought Ramsay an unlimited LIRR pass and told him to travel across the southern shore of Long Island finding places run by the most annoying people on the face of the planet. Why does he even bother? It's not like people on the Island have taste buds or taste, period. Who goes to Babylon or Islip for fine cuisine? Fuck, I don't even think people who live there go Babylon or Islip for a good meal. Go back to Britain and make some good TV for me to download, Gordon.
TOP CHEF- It was the reunion show show this week so nothing happened. We were treated (?) to clips and montages. Casey won the viewer's choice prize. Apparently being completely generic and boring wins tons of love. I'm going to go back a week in Top Chef and talk about how excited I am that Hung won. Often reality shows will have one contestant that's clearly much more talented than everyone else. That person will likely know that he or she is incredibly talented and may occasionally make comments or engage in behaviour that reveals to the viewer that he or she is aware of their talent. In reality land, producers will decide to only show clips of that side of the contestant. He or she will become the villain and we will root for them to lose, just like well-trained chimps. From what I've seen, the villain always makes it to the end; but never wins. The winner is always the bland but inoffensive contestant. Well, Top Chef totally broke that tradition and crowned Hung its winner! I've gotta say, Hung may have been the worst villain on reality TV because he wasn't explosively mean. He was just competitive, couldn't take criticism from anyone, and refused to help people around him. In fact, Top Chef featured numerous occasions of Hung being finished like half an hour before everyone else and just standing around mocking the other contestants as they scrambled and prayed to get their food on a plate. They would ask him to help, and he would just ignore them. Hung was also creepy-looking. Much like Marcel from Top Chef 2, I became quite attached. You've gotta love someone who clearly was raised by wolves. CONGRATULATIONS HUNG!
DIRTY SEXY MONEY- Good times, as usual. The show was back to form this week. Brian had some great scenes and Samaire Armstrong was almost never on screen without Seth Gabel. Smart move on the show's part. I can't stand her; but the family dynamics she has with him are genius. They still have to turn the outrageous up a few notches. The writers need to stop holding back and so do the actors. Expect clips in this week's All-Stars.