So Heath Ledger died

Apparently this news has caused half the entertainment websites in existence to crash from server overloads. I can't wait until Britney or Wino dies and then the entire global telecommunications network abruptly collapses, propelling us all back into the stone age.

The Academy drinks the grape Kool-Aid

A heartbreaking tale of teen obesity

So the Academy Awards have been announced, and somehow Juno managed to get nominated for best picture, screenplay, director and actress. Perhaps the one condolence we can get out of this is that Michael Cera wasn't nominated for playing George Michael Bluth AGAIN. I'm hoping that come awards night, Diablo Cody will get a head injury and - in a twist right out of the Lindsey Lohan classic I Know Who Killed Me - revert to her stripper past and end up shaking her ass onstage while Jack Nicholson shoves dollar bills into her G-String. That would at least provide some small degree of entertainment, as opposed to the braindead script she wrote.

Still, the fact that anybody could be dumb enough to nominate this disgusting hipster wankstain of a movie for anything other than a Razzie is disappointing enough. At least this has motivated me to finally put together a comprehensive list of my thoughts on why Juno is unquestionably the worst movie of 2007. Yes, worse than Norbit. At least Norbit openly acknowledged that it was made for prepubescents and retards. Be on the lookout for it in the next few days.

Rewarding shiteousness

Behold the Devil

With this week's Project Runway, Ricky and Sweet P have been officially confirmed as the new Vincent and Angela. For those of you who didn't watch the third season, the meaning is quite simple: These two are functionally retarded drama queens who make god-awful clothing yet somehow miraculously manage to avoid elimination while far more talented designers are sent home due to the blatant mental retardation of the judging panel.

I'm calling it now: At least one of these talentless motherfuckers will somehow make it to the final four and rape Bryant Park with their shiteous fabric abortions. Because you know at this point Michael Kors and Nina Garcia are just punishing every member of their audience with any taste at all until it comes down to Rami, Christian, and two boring and/or retarded designers.

TV's Power Couple Break Up!

O M G. This week on Gossip Girl the unimaginable happened:

I really thought they would last. They're made for each other! The all-consuming lust between them in that scene was undeniable. It's ok, I'm sure they'll reconcile after the WGA hiatus and live happily ever after.

As for GG spoilers this week, you're out of shit out of luck from me. This episode was just too juicy and I need to make sure you are all paying attention tomorrow night. The only reason I put that clip up is because it was in last week's previews anyway.

God I love this show. One bit of advice, though. Try to watch this tape delayed on your TiVo so you can fast forward through every scene Serena is in- perhaps with the exception of her conversation with Chuck. Blake Lively is so insufferable. They need to Marissa Cooper her ass pronto. Rufus's scenes are also grating; but Rufe is just too cool to put down. He's a hot piece of tail and every brunette in NY knows it.

It's hypnotic

So it's been almost 24 hours since the I Love New York 2 Reunion special aired, and I cannot get over how fucking captivating this image is:

Superwise - You'll believe a wigger can fly

I could watch this shit all day. For those who didn't watch this hot mess, this is uber-wigger Mr. Wise SAILING across the studio and attempting to tackle Tailor Made out of the sofa in retaliation for Tailor Made spitting in his face during Episode 4. The best part is how Wise repeatedly told TM "I saved ya life" before this incident by being man enough not to kill Tailor Made in the house like he would have on the street. Apparently, "the street" has expanded to include a VH1 studio. I'm torn between which incident I loved more: this, or when Becky Buckwild nearly took New York's face off with a thrown shoe in the Flavor of Love 2 Reunion.

Seriously, this episode was amazing. It's telling when the show starts out with a mentally ill man dragging a bag full of bricks on stage, start karate chopping them, and then give New York a jewelry box full of cold French fries and somehow it only manages to get crazier from there.

Anyway, I wish Tailor Made and New York all the best and hope that Tailor won't be too disappointed when he finds out that it's still not legal for two dudes to get married in this state.

Oh God

Horrific clip you all need to see, with a promo for The Soup built in:

Here's what I think of Joel McHale: LINK

Kenny vs A Goat

Kongye recently rediscovered Kenny vs. Spenny. The basic premise is that Kenny and Spencer are best friends that compete in a series of ridiculous competitions for our amusement. For more info, check out the Wikipedia entry (how did humans survive before wikipedia? I can't imagine my life without it). The latest episode was "Who can stay tied to a goat the longest?" Here's how Kenny won:

Here's this week's humiliation. It's not my kind of humour, but it's worth a look because it definitely crosses a line:

Lily Allen Figures Out She's Pregnant on National TV

Here's Lily Allen on "The Big Fat Quiz of the Year." This aired on December 30. I'm not sure when it was taped; but I'm going to say it was probably before December 18. In addition to being the first piece of evidence Allen's future spawn will present to his/her therapist in 2026, this clip also exposes the rather interesting relationship Lily has with her father, the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Here's more from the program featuring Noel Fielding and Russell Brand, the greatest double bill since....EVER! (Ok, I exaggerate; but I do love them both)