What's On Kongye's TiVo- Mostly Download Edition

There actually won't be any network programming on Kongye's TiVo tonight because it's Opening Night and even though Kongye will watch this game live (Club Gold level center ice, bitches!), she still needs to relive the experience in on TV when she gets home or delete the game angrily should we lose.

With that being said, here are the shows that will be watched through a combination of non-conflicting TiVoing and downloading:

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA- 10pm, FX- The only show Kongye made sure to get on the TiVo. We at the blog love this shit. I think tonight is the episode that we saw online before the season started- "Mac is a Serial Killer." Really funny shit. Watch out for Dee, Dennis, a new friend, and a Fraggle Rock lunchbox.
UGLY BETTY- 8pm, ABC- This show has its moments. Hopefully it'll go into crazy territory again because last week was too sappy and predictable.
GREY'S ANATOMY-9pm, ABC- This show is pretty much obligatory. Something happened when I watched this show last week- I found myself getting all emotional even though I knew they were manipulating me. At least the medical stuff is still pretty cool. I pretty much tune out whenever they start talking about their endless, trivial romantic struggles.
ER- 10pm, NBC- I've been watching this since I was a kid. There's nothing and no one on this show that keeps me interested at this point, but it's a habit that I don't really want to break.
LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT-10pm, USA- Let's check out how far the production values on the worst L&O franchise have fallen now that it's moved to cable.
DRAWN TOGETHER-10:30, Comedy Central- I don't remember if I liked this. The jokes are so obvious and I feel like the writing staff is made up entirely on 14-year-old boys. I guess I'll watch tonight and see if it's any better.


See you after the game for a blog update. LET'S GO RANGERS!

What's On Kongye's TiVo: Now With Even More BitTorrent Action

Someone just asked him what he finds most sexy on a woman

PRISON BREAK- 8pm, Fox- According to the description "Determined to speak with Sara, Michael enlists T-Bag's help to get to the only phone in Sona." Something tells me that's not going to work out so well for him. This show is aggressively boring this season; but at least Wenty is slowly getting more naked.

DANCING WITH THE STARS-8pm, ABC- Why do I watch this? Take a look at the picture above and tell me if you could resist the magic of THE HOUGHNESS. I didn't think so.

THE GAME- 9:30, The CW- My TiVo has an affirmative action policy (I'm kidding, please don't send angry letters). I have personal reasons for liking this show. Plus, there's nothing on at 9.

JOURNEYMAN- 10pm, NBC- I'm going to give Journeyman another week to show me what it has to offer. I'll let you know how that went later.

WEEDS- 10pm, Showtime- This show just keeps getting better. I have no idea what's going to happen this week; but last week ended with Mary Louise Parker getting eaten out by her boss and the discovery of her DEA-agent husband's body. That's as good a set-up as I could ask for.

*****NEW FEATURE*********

WHAT PIRATED MATERIAL WILL BE ON KONGYE'S HARD DRIVE?

Since TiVo only allows 2 programs to be recorded at the same time, there are occasions where Kongye has to enlist the assistance of BitTorrent to watch quality programming that slips through the cracks. The criteria for what goes on the box and what gets downloaded has nothing to do with which show Kongye likes more or what show is better. As a general rule 1 hour programs get TiVoed because they take longer to DL and because its less efficient to set smaller timeframes on the DVR. Beyond that, it's really just a random judgment call based on what is most readily available online at the fastest speeds.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER- NPH just keeps getting better. Last week was chock full of Barney goodness and this week he puts on an accent! I'll be watching this long before I get to the other stuff I'm actually recording in the 8pm timeslot.

ALIENS IN AMERICA- We'll be checking out the new cast of this one to see if it's improved the show or made it worse. Stay tuned for the results.

What's on Kongye's TiVo- Kongye is a Hateful Bitch Edition

BONES- 8pm, Fox- It’s a procedural that’s not on CBS and Kongye likes that the actors weren’t hired for their looks. Kongye won’t watch this if there’s something better on; but there isn’t so it’ll be on the DVR.

DANCING WITH THE STARS- 8pm, ABC- Sigh, The Houghness won’t be dancing tonight because the male “celebrities” are performing. Maybe we’ll still get some sweet Hough reaction shots. This is quite a pathetic list of performers they have on the men’s side. Kongye don’t even know who most of them are. Kongye hopes Wayne Newton spins out of control, crashes into Mark Cuban, and crushes him under the weight of his enormous, orange, botox-filled head.

HOUSE-9pm, Fox- Kongye didn’t really miss House while it was off the air. That’s a good show, though. Usually nothing worth blogging about, unless show guy’s balls blow up again.

MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN- 10pm, MTV- These little shitheads used to bring Kongye such joy. Now all the glee is gone because if you’ve seen one girl pretending to be even more rich and/or spoiled than she is in a desperate attempt to get on TV you’ve seen them all. It’s been a while, maybe this will work for Kongye again.

LAW & ORDER: SVU- 10pm, NBC- Tonight’s episode is absolute proof that Cynthia Nixon really needed that Sex and the City movie to be made. From the commercials it looks like she plays a multiple personality serial killer who thinks she’s a horny school girl, among others. All Cynthia does between SATC projects is stupid guest spots on procedural TV shows. Someone give her a real job.

MURDER- 12am, Spike- Have you heard about this show? It’s strangely fascinating, if only because they clearly pick crimes to solve based on how horrific the crime scenes would be to recreate. The producers of this totally get off on the fact that it’s late night cable and just throw random blood and guts in. the way they do this makes it amazingly not shocking in the least bit.

THE WAR- 12am, PBS- Kongye continues a failed attempt at getting more cultured. Now on the DVR: 2 unwatched instalments of The War. After tonight there will be 3.

What's on Kongye's TiVo tonight- Man Ogling Edition

Now that the TV season is officially underway, I'm going to put myself out there and reveal the contents of my DVR to the blog-reading public (as is anyone reads this). Here's what I feel is worth my TV-watching time tonight:

PRISON BREAK-8pm, Fox- I watched the third season premier last week and had no idea what the hell was going on. The most horrifying part is that Wentworth Miller is trapped under all that clothing. FREE WENTWORTHS PECS! At least give me some arm, Fox. Stop being cheap and fire the makeup artist to do the fake tattoos.

DANCING WITH THE STARS- 8pm, ABC- It's no SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE(where else can you get dueling gay princes and, ummm, this); but it has former 90210 cast members dancing with wax statues. I heart Derek Hough. When I found out he was dancing with my homegirl Jennie Garth, I knew it would be the start of something beautiful on this blog. Americans have not been graced with the hotness that is the Houghness; but he's like a twinkier version of Zac Efron. You heard right- MORE twinky. DWTS is the perfect place for Derek because for once he won't be the least realistic human there.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER- 8pm, CBS- Technically Kongye will be downloading this because it conflicts with the other two shitty shows on at 8. This is the only thing Kongye watches on CBS. Kongye loves her some Neil Patrick Harris. In fact, Kongye loves all men on television named Neil. For the record, Kongye scoured the internet looking for shirtless NPH pics to link here- purely for continuity's sake- but nothing of quality was available. Doogie needs to get naked more often. The goods were on display last season, and it was some fantastic merchandise. At some point Kongye will do a Neil vs. Neil entry because those two have a lot in common. As a general rule Kongye doesn't have ogling feelings about NPH, we just respect his work. He was robbed of an Emmy. Piven's so ugly and pathetic he got the pity votes. Kongye's gonna get you, Piven. Watch NPH on HIMYM, people.

WEEDS- 10pm, Showtime- This show keeps getting more insane and I like that. I wish the producers would have fewer Olsen twins dry humping Hunter Parrish, though. I didn't actually care, or even notice that much. I thought it was a bit of a stunt when they did it last week. I was more annoyed that they replayed that 3 second clip on every show for a week to show how scandalous the Olsen twins now were. Stick to making funny TV, don't do stupid stunt casting.

THE WAR- That's right, Kongye's all cultured and shit. Kongye's going to be watching the new Ken Burns 25-part, 175-hour WWII documentary while reading the accompanying book and thinking really deeply about loss and sacrifice. That's the plan at least. So far the first part is sitting on Kongye's DVR's and was skipped over so Kongye could see what the ladies on The View wanted to bitch about today.