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We were beginning to worry about our man Cumface. He didn't even appear in one episode, then last week he completely bewildered us. We're not just talking about the fact that he fell for that ridiculous ruse. We never claimed that Chuck Bass was a genius, or even thinking with his brain. We were shocked because Cumface almost engaged in decidedly unCumtastic behaviour: he tried to have consensual sex with a girl his own age without first getting her too drunk to know better, coercing her by threatening her job, or paying her. It was definitely an all-time low for Chucky. This week he and his writers completely redeemed themselves. First, we got more Cumface than ever. Then not only does he deliver the most satisfying sexual conquest I could have possibly imagined in the closing frames of this installment, but he gets his dad to buy him a harem just before that. In fact, even before it looks like he's in the market to buy, he test-driving all the cars on the lot. Welcome back, old friend. We have missed you so.

If you don't want to be half-spoiled (although if you didn't figure out this was coming from the trailer last week or from the first 2 minutes of tonight's episode, you've got some problems), don't watch this video. If you just can't wait to see one of our girls strip, just hit play.

I've gotta say, her dancing is about as technically proficient and sexy as Britney at the VMAs. The fact that she's not a fat slob and the favourable editing help this lethargic non-dance out quite a bit. Mostly it's enjoyable because you so know what's coming next and you just can't wait.